I had my first day of work today. It went fine. But last night I didn't really feel like I wanted to go. You know how it is when you are facing some big change that is about to happen. It's like standing at the edge of a diving board, looking down. You know you don't really want to jump. Because everything is all nice and dry, the way you like it, and after this it will be different. Wet. And what if it isn't good, and you can't do it, and water goes up your nose and you are miserable, and what if you get hurt, or sink, or smack into something? What if this is the last moment of happiness you will ever have and then everything is wrecked and it's too late? Then you jump and it's here and your alarm goes off and it's happening and there are bubbles coming out of your nose and you're rising to the surface, and then you know it's going to be ok, you can handle it, make it all work out, swim to the side, even do it again, drive home.
So now that my first day is over I feel better about it, the people seem nice and there was cake. (Someone was leaving the department that day.) I got her desk, and a piece of the cake. And if you know me at all you know how I am about cake.
Maybe I should stop the blog now, end of story, but I think I'll keep it going. It is my artistic expression. I won't be writing about the specifics of my job or the people there. And I'll have less time for this. But I hope you keep on checking in with me, and we'll find out what happens next.