Speed Trapped

Yesterday morning my friend JJS stopped by my desk, he was in the building for something and was then on his way to the Warren City Court to argue a speeding ticket. Of course that meant I had to relate the entire story of my Warren speeding ticket from a couple of years ago, and how I went to court all ready to argue about it. I got to sit there with all of the convicts and hookers and then take my turn to politely ask to have the points removed based on my good record. The judge said “sure and that’ll be an extra $25 in court costs, pay now at the cashier.” And then I got to watch as they built this elaborate new civic center that you can see from the tall building at the GM tech center. Quite the fancy place, largely funded by the traffic ticket revenue from GM employees, I suspect.

Then around lunchtime I got the idea in my head that I had to go outside and experience the oddly high temperature. (62 degrees) I didn’t have anywhere I needed to go, but since I have that good parking spot I got in my car and started driving. I made a Michigan left turn and headed south on Mound Road. I have absolutely no idea what caused me to make that decision, perhaps some cosmic karmic forces, I just don’t know. As I went past the ramps onto 696 I pondered how wide and open they made Mound road at that point, almost like an expressway as it goes under, and then up, and then slopes down and then…that’s when the police car shot out from behind the embankment with his lights a-flashing. DANG!

I pulled over and got out my wallet as the mustached cop walked up to my window. I put on my best innocent-terrified-nice person face and held up my license. He paused a moment when he looked at my face, and I tried to squeak out a tiny tear but he just walked back to his car and returned moments later with my ticket. He said that I was going 63 in a 50 but that he only put me down for 5 over. Then he waited for me to thank him for that. I did, and then pulled back into traffic. I went south just until I could turn around but there was a stalled car in the way with a young nervous-looking woman standing next to it with a cell phone. I went around her thinking that my cop would be right along to help her out. Well after the U turn as I was going North I saw my cop still in the very same place already handing the ticket to his next victim! Never mind the citizens of Warren in need of help, murder and crime rampant in the streets, they’ve got a new civic center to pay for!

As soon as I got back to my desk I instant messaged JJS telling him he’d never guess what just happened. Unaware that I had ever left my desk, he surmised: “Bob died.” No! I related my story, and we ranted about those darn Warren cops tricking us GM employees. Bolstered by that conversation I decided to call Larry, which I rarely do in the middle of the day. “Something bad happened!” was my lead in sentence which prompted a moment of panic on his part thus softening the news of the $100 we were going to have to cough up for my ½ mile adventure.

The moment I hung up my coworkers gathered around to discuss the situation. Without even trying to hide the fact that they had all actively listened to my phone conversation, they all related their stories of getting ticketed by the Warren Police.

We discussed whether I have anything to gain by going to the courthouse for this one. I can’t exactly plead to my perfect driving record since it’s not perfect anymore due to that last ticket. I had the very brilliant idea of trying to calculate the speed of acceleration of my vehicle down the slope of the road minus the friction of the tires to prove that I wasn’t intentionally going fast (it was gravity’s fault!) but Bob didn’t think that would fly.

I get 14 days to either pay up or apply for a court appearance. I need to figure out if it’s worth it to try to get the points removed and if the court costs exceed the increase to my auto insurance (do I call them?)

Here is a picture of the new Warren civic center. The way I see it, a couple of the bricks over by the clock are MINE.